#YouAreLoved at #TheFeast

I believe everything happens for a reason. Reason that only God knows until it is revealed in His perfect time.

I met my ex-boyfriend through a high school kabarkada in 2008. He was smart, responsible, independent, and funny. He courted me, and after six months, we became an official couple.

In the third year of our relationship, as he was about to drop me off at home one night, he said something that made our relationship change its course:

“I really don’t have plans of marriage.”

I didn’t immediately react when I heard it. I let it pass. I was thinking maybe it was a big joke. But after a while, I asked him if he was really serious with what he was saying. He said yes, he had no plans of marriage and of having kids.

It felt like a big slap in my face. He shouldn’t have courted me! Why be in a relationship when you have no plans of marriage?!

After that conversation, we didn’t see nor speak with each other. Two weeks later, I decided to break up with him. He accepted my decision, but didn’t give me any further reason for his silence. I just then turned to my friends and prayed to God that the situation would make sense in time.

A year after we broke up, I decided to text him and say that I had forgiven him for whatever pain he had caused me. I needed to move on, and part of it was forgiving. We became friends again. And yes, I gave our relationship a second chance.

I thought I could push the non-marriage issue aside, and just be happy to be in a relationship with someone. But there was always a sinking feeling in my gut that kept telling me the relationship was not for keeps; and that I was just fooling myself thinking that he would change his mind.

I wasn’t able to fool myself for long.

After a month of being together again, I finally broke up with him for good. Both of us understood what the reason was, and we remained friends. I would text him on special occasions, and he would reply; up until three years ago, when I no longer heard from him. I would message him on Facebook, and I would only be in the seen zone. No replies.

I had so many questions when we broke up. Questions that were all answered last April 28, 2016 in a phone call that I received from our common friend:

“Mark passed away yesterday. He died of heart failure.”

I was definitely shocked! He had juvenile diabetes, and his health deteriorated during the time that we were not a couple anymore. He died of heart failure after a dialysis session.

Maybe, he knew all along what was going to happen, so he spared me from further getting hurt. He was the type who didn’t want to burden other people.

I can say that I have moved on, because I have no other choice but to move on. I am single and definitely happy knowing that everything happens for a reason. I feel God’s assurance that He will replace what was taken away from me. He has a plan for each of our lives, whether that be single or married life.

‘Mark, thank you for loving me, for everything. Everything makes sense now.  I am glad that even for a short time, you became a part of my life. You will always be special to me.’ 

__________

Today, we commemorate the lives of the people who are no longer physically present among us, but will forever stay in our hearts. We lift our prayers for them. 

#AllSoulsDay2018

Visit The Feast near you, and let God show you the reason why you had to go through what you went through. For locations, schedules, and updates, go to http://bit.ly/FeastLocations or download THE FEAST app on Google Play or App Store.

For counseling needs, visit https://www.facebook.com/lojpastoralcare/.

* Photo by Cei Intud (used for visual representation only; subject not related to the sharer)

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