#YouAreLoved at #TheFeast

While I was still in college, I had the chance to work for a law library, and from then on, I dreamed of entering law school and eventually becoming a lawyer. It took me six years after graduation for the said dream to come to fruition, but I was really excited then because I was a step closer to reaching my goals.

I was hastily making decisions, too happy to think about the important factors that could affect my endeavor. My only focus was to study — nothing else. I was in my second year in law school when I realized there was nothing left of my savings from work to support my studies; and because of the nature of my job that entailed me to be on call 24/7, I had to resign. There was another position in the government sector waiting for me, but the processing of my application took a considerable amount of time.

I wanted to continue studying even after my resignation from work, and so I sought the help of one of my classmates, and I borrowed money from my parents. Everything seemed fine for a few months. Unfortunately, these decisions just delayed the inevitable. For I had stopped attending classes before the final examinations of the first semester in my second year. I had no means to pay for such exams anyway.

Two years of studying hard, and it all ended in just the blink of an eye. Furthermore, my job application in the government sector was taking longer than expected. I had no money, I had no job, and I had to let go of the opportunity to reach my dream.

I could not keep up with what was happening in my life. There were times when I would just look out the window or isolate myself in my room and cry. Things were fuzzy, and I could not think properly; and sadly, I was blaming God. I was blaming Him for giving me hardships despite the fact that I strive to be good all the time, and I offer my service to Him during Sunday masses. I was blaming Him for the despair I was experiencing despite the fact that I am supposedly one of His treasured children.

But God was still good to me. When I finally gained back my composure; and when I opened my heart, mind, and soul to Him, I found out that He was the only answer I needed.

When all I saw was the difficulty I was facing, He kept showing me all the good things He has given me—my family and friends, a healthy life, and my technical capability that will not be taken away from me even though I have stopped pursuing a law degree. Through these blessings, He was telling me to just patiently wait and let a great life unfold before me. At that point, I knew He would answer my prayer.

I wholeheartedly accepted that my stint in law school was not the right time. After a few more months, my job application was granted, and I started working as a government employee.

I already knew this for a long time, but it was only with my experience that I became a living proof of this fact: As children of God, He will constantly test us and give us adversities, but He will only give us what we can handle. We just have to believe that we will get through every obstacle as long as we walk with Him. He is just there on our side, waiting for us to call upon His name, and is excited to do His wondrous deeds for us even when we question His capability at times.

I am still planning to pursue a law degree and become a lawyer, but I am waiting for God’s perfect time. It may not be what I had wanted in the first place — to become a lawyer in 2018 — but I trust Him that it will be a better and more rewarding answer. 

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